Finding your new school tribe — without feeling like you’re dating again — can be just as challenging for parents as starting a new school is for kids. You watch your children navigate new routines, make friends, and find their place, all while juggling schedules, supplies, and a million little details. And then there’s you — the adult who now has to figure out who to talk to, who to trust, and how to feel like you belong in this brand-new school community. It’s awkward. It’s exhausting. And yes, sometimes it really does feel a lot like dating.

Kids, on the other hand, are naturals. My daughter once wanted to play with the sister of a boy on my son’s baseball team. I told her she needed to ask if she wanted to play. She looked at me like I was clueless and said, “That’s not how it works, Mom. I have to ask her if she wants to be friends.” And just like that, they were. Simple.

For parents? Not so simple. There are introductions, polite small talk, reading the vibe, seeing if personalities click, and then adding in the extra layer — do our kids mesh? Do we actually want to spend time together outside of school activities? Not everyone makes it through all of that. Honestly, sometimes it feels a little like dating.

And yet, I already have my forever people — friends I made years ago, just like our elementary school principal once said most close friendships form when your kids are little. They are still my ride-or-die, the ones I call when my car gets a flat on the way to camp pickup or when I need someone to grab my kids at 6:15 a.m. on a snow day because my medical procedure isn’t canceled, even if school is.

What I need now, in this new community, is a different kind of connection. Not a replacement for my people, but the “day-to-day lifeline” kind. The mom I can text, “What day of the schedule cycle is it?” The one who can send me a picture of the math homework because we forgot it. The quick check-in at pickup to make sure I didn’t miss the permission slip buried at the bottom of the backpack.

That’s why I’ve been forcing myself to show up, even when I’d rather not. The summer social, the class meet-and-greet, the parent reception I dragged myself to — they’re all part of the work. Because if I don’t put myself out there, I won’t find those connections. And I need them just as much as my kids do.

Those relationships may not run as deep as my lifelong friends, but they’re still vital. They’re the glue that helps parents survive the daily grind of school life.

And maybe that’s the point: I don’t need to rebuild an entire tribe — I just need a few of the right people. The ones who make this new chapter feel less overwhelming, more doable, and maybe even a little lighter.

👉 What about you? Have you had to find new “school people” — the moms and dads who help you survive the daily grind? How did you find them, and what makes those connections work? Share your story in the comments — let’s build our parent tribe together.