“Every parent is secretly doing something wrong,” said my 13-year-old.

Truer words probably never spoken.

He said this in response to his aunt commenting that she’s probably screwing everything up with her 7-month-old.

We had a good laugh, but then I had to ask the natural follow-up question.

“What am I doing wrong?”

His response?

“I don’t know. It’s secret.”

Touche.

So I began to think about it.

I have no doubt I’m scarring my daughter for life because I’m always rushing her, endlessly reminding her to get things done instead of procrastinating, and almost always losing my patience somewhere in the process.

My son feels like he has to wash his hands after petting a dog, just like me, because I’m not a dog or cat person.

And both of them have been exposed to my firm belief that “camping” should include electricity, plumbing, and preferably a mattress.

So there’s that.

But I also have to realize I’m doing some things right.

They are considerate.

And funny.

They avoid drama.

They (generally) like to hang out with me.

They’re hard workers.

They still get along.

They’re learning to be valuable members of society.

Which is the ultimate goal, after all.

Because maybe parenting isn’t about getting everything right.

Maybe it’s about screwing up in some ways while, hopefully, getting the important stuff right.

I’m probably going to rush them when they don’t move fast enough.

I’m often going to remind them of something they already know they’re supposed to do.

I’m definitely going to lose my patience.

They’re probably going to have some childhood experience they bring up at Thanksgiving 20 years from now.

And honestly?

I’m okay with that.

Because if they grow up to be kind, funny, hardworking people who contribute to the world, take care of themselves, take care of each other, and still occasionally want to hang out with their mom…

I can live with being the parent who screwed some things up.

Besides, I still have no idea what the secret ones are.

And apparently, neither does he.

The evidence against us is, apparently, classified.